


Teenage Dream

by EnobyQuest (Ymir14)



Series: E.T. ft. Kanye West [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Deliberate Badfic, I'm really sorry, M/M, Read at Your Own Risk, an alternate version of episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 01:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4244334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ymir14/pseuds/EnobyQuest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"Was it a sin to find himself as such a handsome devil?"</em><br/>Ichigo doesn't know what to do with this sexy invader to his life - and his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teenage Dream

**Author's Note:**

> For authenticity reasons, I did not watch beyond episode 7 of Bleach before writing this. This is first in probably a long series of deliberately bad fanfiction, enjoy!

The not so dynamic duo had just lost the other guy in Ichigo’s body after the school. No one could see Ichigo, but he still needed to find the Ichigo they could see! The strawberry was so embarrassed by the things that happened there, how was he supposed to ever show his face in public again? Maybe that pervert soul should just keep test driving his young body like a lime green lamborghini forever!

Chad jogged quickly up to the shinigami and the tall strawberry blond youth, even though there's no way he could see Ichigo, just Rukia going on a long fast walk in traditional Japanese attire. He said,

"Did you skip my character introduction?"

The tall pacifist made no expression and said,

“I’m going.”

Chad left them.

“Goodbye Chad.”

Chad disappeared like an oak tree into the sunset.

"Chad seems worried."

The super souled boy began, wondering if the tall dark and handsome Hawaiian shirt man was able to tell that something was wrong at school today. Hopefully he made it back before lunch ended. The angry Japanese girl beside him kicked the fiery haired youth in the shins.

"Ichigo, you kook, you're totally eating it on the hunt today, I know you're not an experienced wahine like me but that's no excuse to look like a poser."

The shorter girl pushed up her sunglasses, snubbing her nose cooly at the teen beside herself.

“You going backside or bailing? No choice, I’m heading out. Search for that soul, brah! Don't want any hollows snaking in out back.”

The short short black haired girl winked, and was gone by the time the younger teen tried to look for her for an idea of what he was supposed to do but instead he was looking into thin air.

Then Rukia appeared by his right hand man side.

"You're such a wimp, brah! I'm just joshing you, you incredible nark. You actually looked all freaked I was leaving you. Nah."

Secondly, the strawberry lad began a leisurely walk, surely that wolf in his (sheep's) clothing couldn't have gotten too far away from the school, right? Ichigo liked the change of hunting something thoroughly solid instead of the usual hollows who were probably hollow in the middle and he reflected on that until he heard a super loud commotion. The disembodied half human half death god was looking at a mirror except it was actually himself!

"What are you anyways, me?"

The sandaled strawberry blond yelled.

"I'm sorry."

The other strawberry blond raked his hand through his windswept quiff as the sun lit up both of their faces. Did he always look this sexy? Was it a sin to find himself as such a handsome devil?

"What are you anyways,"

the original Ichigo began.

"Should you not just be some blank inside me?"

Ichigo squared looked at him blankly.

"I'm a soul meant for battle to fight the hollows."

"I also fight hollows I think there was a mix up because that's not what Rukia said she was buying."

The kind of shinigami said slowly, looking himself over.

"What the shit is Rukia? I'm an altered soul."

The bodied strawberry blond asked.

“I’ll call you Kon.”

Ichigo 1 decided.

“You didn’t ask if I had a name!”

Ichigo 2 yelled.

“Do you have a name?”

The soul boy asked.

“No.”

The other replied defeatedly. They both then decided maybe they had a lot to learn from each other.

“So also you don’t know what’s going on?”

Khan asked, yelling in excitement.

“No!”

The strawberry blond decreed.

“But Rukia said I need to get rid of you.”

He followed the statement with, biting his lip.

“Maybe we should talk this over, somewhere more private.”

The soul boy in Ichigo’s body asked.

“I don’t think Rukia is at my house and my family is doing something somewhere so we might go there.”

The original flavour of protagonist supplied.

“Sounds good to me.”

Kon nodded along, walking together with Ichigo and the silent noirette to his house.

Later, they forgot what they were supposed to talk over, and so both strawberry blond boys were left sitting alone on the couch of Ichigo’s family home, someone moved in the kitchen. His sisters and his father were all away doing something somewhere all weekend.

The big hearted big souled boy decided to reflect on his mother’s death. It was by that one hollow. She saw the hollow too, so it means she also had amazing soul power. He was going to make that hollow so sorry it spent the rest of it’s hollow life doing charity work in hollow hell.

The altered soul young soul man sat in silence, watching the way the other one frowned. It was a bad look for him. Ichigo 1 spoke up:

“Can I vape in here?”

Ichigo 2 was really confuddled.

“What the hell is vape?”

Ichigo 1 pulled out his e-cig.

“Vape, vaping, whatever.”

The other strawberry blond frowned at this hardly there response.

“This is your house, is it not?”

Rukia said.

“Oh yeah. My bad.”

The first strawberry blond ignored his senses and sensibilities.

“That smells pretty bad.”

Kon said, while wrinkling his nose and looking judgingly over at the other.

“Don’t speak badly of my culture, without this, I have nothing.”

Ichigo said, looking wistfully over at a family portrait taken very long ago with his mom.

“Don’t speak like that, you have me.”

When the tall strawberry blond youth tried to look over at the other strawberry blond youth and ask him ‘what’ he found himself kissing the other strawberry blond youth in a mess of passion and lips and tongue. Was it gay to kiss his own body? Probably not.

Ichigo: Original leaned into kiss Ichigo: Kon edition, their tongues clashing like foils in a fencing match.

“Take off your clothes.”

The inhabited body of Ichigo pulled away to say, breathing harshly like he just played a rousing match of tennis, moist sweat glistening on his brow like the sun hitting the surface of a still lake.

“I’m already ahead of you there.”

The disembodied soul of Ichigo panted, having quickly stripped out of his death god garb while the other wasn't looking at him.

The bodied body so altered soul in Ichigo's bodied stood up on the bed to quickly do the same, finding the cooling brisk air in Ichigo's bedroom crisping his dusky nipples. He sat down again, against the headboard of the bed so that it rubbed against his shoulder blades.

Ichigo felt like he was living a dream, the way this was turning him on.

"Ahn!"

Kon whined arousedly, as the super souled boy parted his supple legs to sit between them. Kon's mouth was an exquisite excellent exuberant ocean of immense joy.

They returned to exploring each other's mouths as their hands explored the other's identical body since Kon has never had a body before this was super exciting to him... In more ways than one.

"Oh, it's hard."

The other strawberry blond remarked, gazing down at his rigid loins. Ichigo grabbed his (his own?) go-go stick and gave it a firm stroke resulting in a loud sound from the one underneath to himself.

"Yup."

He said, mostly to himself.

"I think I need a little more than what we are doing now."

The altered soul said soundly, scarcely able to pull air into his lungs, just from the wonderful pleasure emanating from what's going on between their two bodies.

"Let's go all the way, tonight."

The maybe shinigami said, leaning in towards him to suckle his unconventional lover's neck, one hand brushing over his rosy rock hard nips.

"No regrets, just love."

He breathed over the flushed skin.

"Just touch me..."

The one in Ichigo's body said, gripping and guiding the other manboy's skilled, spidery hand way down into his own down under.

Ichigo flinched slightly as the other Ichigo moaned when his fingers brushed over his nether portal. They needed something to smoothen out this rough ride!

The strawberry blond then spotted his 30 spf broad spectrum UVA/UVB banana boat sunscreen, and reached out a smooth lanky arm to grab it.

Ichigo lifted Ichigo 2's thigh, lifting it a little bit for steamy accessibility reasons, using a hand to squirt some extra sunscreen into his additional hand.

"Well, at least you'll be protected from the sun."

He muttered, ceremoniously pushing a finger into the other strawberry blond's moist pulsating depths.

"You, are my sun,"

The altered soul boy groaned in response, arching his aching body against the other other, both of their skin and sinews slick with slippery sweat.

"Oh, more, please!"

He rapturously continued on.

"Your body is an ocean."

Quoth the soul boy in reply to the one dripping with lust and drooling in proximity to him, pulling out his fingers before sliding his batcar into the other's welcoming batcave.

"Ooh, ahh!"

The other self was sighing, tense and twitching, obviously handling being penetrated for the first time not so well. He wrapped his arms around the original strawberry blond’s neck, impaling his abnormally large zanpakuto to the hilt and deeper into his sheath.

The mirror image whimpered something, right into the image being reflected's ear.

"In this moment, you and I will be young forever."

Then they both began to do move against each other and do the sex, while the strawberry blonde hissed and groaned like an old automotive, knowing he would be very sore the next day from this exciting exhaustion.

After some more time has passed, Ichigo 1 looked down at the writhing version of himself, and realized as the flushed body contorted in agony that he was beautiful. Was it gay to think his own body was beautiful? No, it was his beautiful soul. Kon was original, couldn't be replaced.

The two identical twins were holding one another super tight, super close, rubbing and frotting against each other like they were two halfs of a cheap magnetic clasping friendship necklace pendant. At some point the altered soul one had tightly wound his hands into the other one's strawberry blond hair.

They just needed to wait for what the future would hold, after hurricanes come rainbows. The soul strawberry blond drew himself closer and sheathing his diamond hard man carrot deeper into Kon's pulsating internal elevator shaft of love. "If that is my body, is this masturbation?" Ichigo wondered.

Both of them were writhing into the sheets, the sticky sweet smell of sex and sweat and saliva was drawn out moist between them, and listening to Kon's ocean of lilting lovely languid yet laboured and lightheaded sounds from the joining of their two bodies humping at terminal velocity, he knew he was close, yet he figured he absolutely must hear something more.

“Hey hey Kon, moan my name.”

The main strawberry blond of this story looked down at the other one writhing on his tastefully coloured bedspread, his soft little anal analogous pathway constricting around his manly mushroom cloud so majestically.

“You never told me your name.”

The other strawberry blond moaned, groaning at the feeling of Ichigo’s ivory scepter repeatedly breaching his inner portal.

“Ichigo.”

He panted, going at it all harder, all out. The other same man furrowed all his brows.

“Strawberry?”

That was an adorable name for the adorable guy pounding his butt in that very moment.

“Shut up.”

“Ahh~ Ichigo!”

"Oh, come on, come with me!"

"ICHIGO!"

Kon screamed in pure pleasure as Ichigo emptied his very full load deep into the bowels of himself, grunting like a male bear.

Kon passed out on the bed, having fallen asleep after such a satisfying satisfactory session of steamy sex.

"That was a choppy ride I never needed to see, Ichigo."

Rukia pointed at Kon, still stretched out on the bed.

"I'm stoked for you, but dude got hardcore hammered, you were shooting the curl the whole time there.”

Ichigo couldn't respond. Rukia was here. Why was the petite noirette in his room?

"WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM, RUKIA!?"

The experienced shinigami stepped back, dismissively waving her arms like she was fighting off a rogue bee.

"Don't trip out, that was gnarly, but keep your junk away from business, brah."

The shorter girl steps out of his (their?) room, saying,

"Drop him with soul society, I'll swoop you in ten."

The more coherent strawberry blond broke into a cold sweat, like perspiration from a water glass sliding down his face.

The strawberry blond had a lot of problems to resolve from this point on still. But maybe he could find a way to keep this ocean of a problem not fixed.


End file.
